FREEDOM VS. LIMITS
Rabbi Aaron Brafman

OUR CHOICES

No Smoking signs abound everywhere. Some states have banned cigarette advertising in any media; others have banned vending machines for cigarettes.

If you don't wear a seat belt, you can be fined. The smallest trace of alcohol on one's breath in New York City can result in one's car being confiscated.

What about compulsory education? Teenagers are kept in school even if they are not interested. Fourth graders who failed some arbitrary reading test have to go to summer school.

Children are required to receive a series of inoculations, even if parents are opposed to them on the grounds that they involve a health risk to their children.

What happened to freedom?

To free speech? To personal liberty?

The obvious answer is that every society, even the most liberal one, faces the need and possesses the right to control or to limit any speech or behavior that it deems harmful to society. The only issue is: which values or ideals does it wish to uphold?

In the above examples, the most liberal elements of society, which are up in arms if we would attempt to limit any immorality in advertising or the media, are the most vociferous proponents of control when health or the environment is the concern. They are opposed to censoring smut on the Internet, but would gladly help close down Mexican restaurants for selling high-fat-content foods.

Orthodox Jews both here and in Israel have the responsibility to explain to the public that to us, chillul Shabbos is threatening to our very existence; that to us, pornography and smut are akin to poisoning water supplies with industrial waste, for they contaminate the spiritual air we breathe.

The recent explosion of violence in high schools and grade schools in America has finally brought a reaction from the White House to pressure the entertainment industry to assert some kind of control over its production of violent movies, and to impose limits as to who views these films, excluding those under 17. We are finally witnessing the beginnings of an awareness of the linkage of the media with negative behavior, recognizing the effects of viewing deviance, decadence, and immorality - which are standard fare on television and movies. But how far does this recognition go?

How could an intelligent society such as ours harbor such a confusion of values?

The Rambam in Yad Hachazaka at the end of Hilchos Temura states a fascinating characteristic of the human psyche. (The Yad is a purely halachic work; nevertheless, in the discussions dealing with korbanos/sacrifices, he concludes each section with a hashkafa insight to be learned from the particular korban. Temura discusses the prohibition of replacing one animal korban with another.)

The Torah writes: "He shall not exchange it nor substitute it, whether good for bad or bad for good" (Vayikra 27, 10).

The question is obvious: While we understand the prohibition against exchanging a good korban with a bad animal, why not replace a bad animal with a better one? To which the Rambam writes, once you allow an individual to make changes, he will say that the inferior one is really better. For the human mind has the capacity to distort reality in its own self-interest.

Thus, our society is able to deem the destroying of a fetus - which not too long ago was understood to be evil and murder - acceptable. You change the vocabulary and talk about the right to privacy, and the very same people who worry about the welfare of deadly snakes on trees in the Amazon jungle (granted, a legitimate concern) can promote the mass slaughter of fetuses.

This is why we need the Torah as a guide. Hakadosh Baruch Hu granted us - and, through us, the rest of mankind - eternal truths and values, which should provide us with guidance despite the ever-changing values and mores of society.

The Challenge of Contemporary Society

Torah Jews also face a serious challenge: There is a large area of human activity that is neither forbidden, nor is it a mitzva; yet if it is not under control, it can lead the individual or community down a path of self-destruction. This is the area that the Ramban places under the category of "Kedoshim tiheyu - You shall be holy." In its absence, one can be a menuval birshus haTorah; one can drink only kosher wine and dine exclusively on kosher meat, and still become a debauching glutton.

Pursuing normal human activities to excess is a major challenge in a society where promotion of every product, experience, or service is geared to having fun, or to abandoning any self-imposed restrictions on one's behavior. In this atmosphere, it is much more difficult than in previous times to practice Kedoshim tiheyu.

The world at large is making fundamental mistakes, which Chazal have already enlightened us about - but these are creeping into our thinking as well. For one, society fails to see the connection between immorality and growth in violence. The Gemora at the end of Nedarim says that an adulterer would resort to murder if necessary to continue his illicit affair, based on the pasuk in Yechezkel 23: "Ki na'afu ve'dam biyedeihem…." Thus, ironically, in an unwitting campaign of self-defeat, the same people who are mounting a new aggressive campaign against violence are the leading proponents and practitioners of licentiousness.

Secondly, they fail to realize that without controls and moral limits in human behavior based on Kedoshim tiheyu, the slide towards all forms of deviant and abnormal behavior is almost predictable. This is described with remarkable accuracy and prescience in the Ramban, Devarim 29, 10. (Rabbi Gedalya Schorr l"xz expounded on this, explaining the Ramban in projecting the future of American society, as he observed its unraveling during the 60's.) The Ramban explains a very difficult pasuk: "Ki beshrirus libi eileich, le'ma'an s'fos harava es hatzmei'a - I will go as my heart sees fit, thereby adding the drunk with the thirsty." When a person gives in to his desires and satiates them - or abuses them - they will lead him to further desires, even for things he had no interest in at the outset. "Thus if one indulges in promiscuity," says the Rambam, "it will lead him to even more radical breaches of morality."

What an apt description of the course the world has taken since the moral revolution of the 60's, which ostensibly was aimed at bringing happiness and contentment to people by calling on them to shed their inhibitions and ignore time-honored restraints. In actuality, however, it has created a growing class of people practicing deviant behavior and foisting their values on the rest of society through the media and liberal educational institutions. As Rabbi Gedalya Schorr l"xz explained the Ramban, when one indulges in a desire, he anticipates that it will bring him the happiness he seeks. But the initial excitement does not last (for a psychological analysis, see Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler's Kuntras Hachessed in Michtav Me'Eliyahu Vol. I); he then seeks new thrills and pursues heightened desires in a desperate search for the elusive peace of mind he seeks.

A third major error in general society is that its leaders seem to focus their concern exclusively on minors. All talk of restrictions refers to children. The reality - and the Torah view - is that anyone, including mature adults, can be negatively affected by destructive influences.

There are numerous stories in the Talmud (Kiddushin 39 and 80) about Tanna'im and Amora'im who overcame temptations of the yeitzer hora of arayos (promiscuity). For example, Rav and Rabbi Yehuda would not trust themselves to be alone with a woman - although circumstances were such that it would have been halachically permissible. They were kedoshei elyon (men of exalted purity); what should we say?

Yet another major mistake is the thinking (even in our circles) that by being aware of a problem and its negative effect, one is ipso facto deterred from doing the wrong thing. Not so, according to Chazal (Rabbis of the Talmud) and the insights of ba'alei mussar and sifrei Chassidus: "Haro'eh sota bekilkula yazir atzmo min hayayin (Nazir 2a) - If one sees a sota (unfaithful wife) in her degradation, he should become a nazir and thus abstain from wine."

Sefarim explain that seeing or hearing of sin or immoral conduct puts the occurrence into the realm of the witness's experience, and can lead to imitation, unless concrete steps are taken to strengthen oneself in combatting such influences. Thus, merely being educated about any problem is not a deterrent, for the human mind focuses on the "good time," and not on the concomitant degradation. (See Rabbi Dessler in Michtav MeEliyahu I, pp. 11 and 128. See also Ohr Gedalyahu on Parshas Nasso.) This is illustrated in a story in the Midrash:

The children of an alcoholic, embarrassed by their father's drunkenness, attempted to cure his problem. One rare day when he was sober, they took him to the town's Skid Row to allow him to see the revolting spectacle drunkards make of themselves. They pointed to someone lying in the street, rolling in his own regurgitation. The father bent over and asked him, "Hey, where did you get such strong wine?"

I referred to this concept in a mussar discussion group of ba'alei battim. Several days later, one of the members, a doctor who had been on duty in an emergency room, told me, "You'll never believe this: I saw that Chazal live with my own eyes. They brought in a fellow who overdosed on drugs, and one of the other patients in the emergency room went over and asked him, 'Hey, man, where did you get such good stuff?'"

The yeitzer hara will only be controlled by outside forces - e.g., taking away people's cars for driving under the influence of alcohol; or by imposing personal limitations, drawing "lines in the sand" for ourselves in all areas of behavior and recreation - yes, even if we are adults. Coping with this gray area is not a simple matter today, living as we do in a fun-loving, mindless society. There is a remarkable statement in the Kuzari on this issue [penned by Rabbi Yehuda HaLevi in the eleventh century; it could have been written today].

At the beginning of the Third Section, the Chaver (Rabbi Yehuda Halevi) responds to the King of the Kazar's request to describe the truly pious Jew, in contrast to the concepts of piety held in Christianity and Islam.

The Chaver begins: "The Way of the Torah is not one of rejection and abhorrence of this world, since that attitude imposes a great burden on life, which would make it detestable. To the contrary, one should accept that life is one of great blessings of the Creator." The Kuzari writes that there was a time when there was nevu'a, prophecy, when people were able to practice perishus - total renunciation of the physical aspect of life, as did Chanoch and Eliyahu. They could totally remove themselves from worldly interests, for they were immersed in the joy and light of direct contact with Hashem Yisborach. In our present condition, however, when the Presence of the Shechina is not felt, this is not a viable approach, and attempting it can have a negative effect.

"For the natural components within the human being make demands on the person. Man wants to hear and see new things. He wants to talk to people; to work and amass wealth. A person needs human interaction. He wants to use his money to take care of his family, help the poor and support those studying Torah. And this parush (recluse), who dwells alone, isolated, under the pressure of his natural desires and needs, becomes impatient and ultimately disillusioned with his derech (path in life), and regrets what he has done until now. This will distance him from being close to Hashem, the very thing he was seeking."

Thus, the gray area - neither mandated nor forbidden - is not easily dealt with nor defined particularly well in our fun-filled, partying society.

How Do We Elevate Ourselves?

Perhaps the key to this is to be found in a profound insight found in the Meshech Chachma on Parshas Bo, where he explains in great detail that the study of Torah is meant to sharpen our intellect to enable us to maintain a highly refined level of emuna. Mitzvos are designed to give expression and direction to all our senses, feelings and emotions. Pagans took all of these emotions and senses and deified them; thus they designated gods of love, war, courage, beauty, music, and so on. They also deified people possessing these qualities.

"We are not that way because we know that there is but one Creator. To establish controls and give direction to our physical and emotional experiences, however, we were given mitzvos to perform, and these encompass our entire non-intellectual being.

"Thus we direct the emotion of love toward finding expression in loving friends (ve'ahavta lerei'acha kamocha), family and Klal Yisroel - acquiring feelings of altruism, doing acts of chessed for others. We sanctify our sense of esthetic appreciation with the mitzva of esrog, which is described as a beautiful fruit, pri eitz hadar…."

The Sefer Hachinuch (a classic work on the Taryag Mitzvos by a Rishon) approaches certain mitzvos in a similar way. In Mitzva 488, designating Yomim Tovim, he writes:

"One reason for the mitzva is because a human being needs to rejoice, just as he requires food, rest and sleep. So Hakadosh Baruch Hu, in His love for us, gave us this mitzva so that our rejoicing should be for His sake. He thus set aside specific days several times a year for us to remember the miracles that He performed for us. And during those times, He commanded us to give our physical being its due with the joy it needs." Similarly, the simplest level of enjoyment is part of the mandate of Menuchas Shabbos and Oneg Shabbos, as well.

Thus, the Torah of Hashem recognizes and takes into account all the physical, emotional and intellectual needs of the human being. It focuses them, channels them, and elevates them, as they are directed toward a noble purpose.

Therefore, if one lives a life of Torah in the prescribed manner, and approaches the mitzvos attuned to their deeper meaning, drawing from their wellsprings of spirituality, he will lead a life of fulfillment.

Danger sets in, however, when mitzvos are performed in a shallow manner - as the Navi describes them, "mitzvas anashim melumada," performing them by rote, as it were. One can encounter frum Orthodox people who, with their own hands, destroy or undermine the singular experience of performing a mitzva or experiencing a Yom Tov. If the mitzva becomes a tafel - secondary to something else - then its performance can sadly result in some of the hollow practices we see today.

If people go to hotels for Pesach as a matter of preference (to be sure, this is not a criticism of hotel owners or individuals who have need for this service), the message it sends - especially to children - is that "V'higadeta l'vincha - And you shall relate [the events of leaving Egypt] to your children," with all the enormous impact it should have, coupled with the Yom Tov experience, cannot on their own bring simcha or meaning to the festival; rather simcha must come from the entertainment that crowds the hotel's public notices and fills the holiday schedule. A recent ad in a frum newspaper was headlined, "Do something different this Pesach," as if the Yom Tov on its own terms cannot serve as a source of inspiration or excitement. Similarly, Rosh Hashana should require a supportive environment. How compelling is the fear of the Yom Hadin in a vacation setting? If we take into account what we are davening for, and how much is at stake, one cannot help but wonder how this can be achieved in a recreational atmosphere - unless steps are taken to make certain that a veritable beis midrash atmosphere prevails.

These are just some of the many ways in which the ineffable elements of Torah and mitzvos that we should be experiencing, and ought to be transmitting to the next generation, are getting lost.

Identifying the Source

Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetzky writes (Emes L'Yaakov, Parshas Noach): Noach failed to rebuke his generation regarding the true source of their sins. To be sure, he spoke to them about idolatry, but that was merely a cover to disguise their real, underlying craving - immoral behavior. Had Noach searched for the truth, he would have realized that his rebuke should have focused on arayos (promiscuity), not avoda zara (idolatry), and he is thus held responsible for their destruction. … A flaw in intelligence is also a flaw in tzidkus, righteousness.

Today, no one has any illusions regarding what the underlying drive and yeitzer hara of society is - arayos. But it, too, is covered up with layers of theory, whether called equality, feminism, or maximizing potential. This has eaten away at the pristine behavior and tzenius that a bas Yisroel naturally possesses. We must recapture, rekindle this precious value in our homes; otherwise the hordes of teenagers on the prowl in our neighborhoods will chas veshalom continue to grow.

Our agenda, then, calls for setting limits and controls as to what enters our mikdash me'at, our miniature sanctuaries - our homes where the Shechina is meant to dwell. Additionally, we must seek to become inspired, and thus succeed in inspiring our families to experience the beauty and fulfillment that Torah and mitzvos provide.

When my wife, who grew up in San Francisco, was sitting shiva for her mother, the question was constantly raised: How were her parents, who came from Frankfurt, Germany in 1939, able to raise her in the spiritual wasteland that was San Francisco? My wife gave several illustrations of how her parents, not ever having taken parenting classes, were able to infuse their home with a love for mitzvos and Yamim Tovim. One story in particular moved whoever heard it. My wife had a special doll she loved, which appeared especially for Shabbos. When she came home from public school Friday afternoon, it was there waiting for her. Sunday morning it was gone. My mother-in-law would say that it went back to New York, and would come again for the next Shabbos. My wife described how she looked forward to coming home from school Friday afternoon, and finding her Shabbos doll.

Recognizing that they had no supportive school or neighborhood to rely on, they knew intuitively that they had to do it all at home. Perhaps we too should take that concept to heart. Let us work on inspiring ourselves and our children with the special beauty and depth of our Yiddishkeit. Let us devote ourselves to the task as if it is incumbent on us to do it, for truly no one else can do it as we can.

Torah Jews also face a serious challenge: There is a large area of human activity that is neither forbidden, nor is it a mitzva; yet if it is not under control, it can lead the individual or community down a path of self-destruction. This is the area that the Ramban places under the category of "Kedoshim tiheyu - You shall be holy." In its absence, one can be a menuval birshus haTorah; one can drink only kosher wine and dine exclusively on kosher meat, and still become a debauching glutton.

Pursuing normal human activities to excess is a major challenge in a society where promotion of every product, experience, or service is geared to having fun, or to abandoning any self-imposed restrictions on one's behavior. In this atmosphere, it is much more difficult than in previous times to practice Kedoshim tiheyu.

A major error in general society is that its leaders seem to focus their concern exclusively on minors. All talk of restrictions refers to children. The reality - and the Torah view - is that anyone, including mature adults, can be negatively affected by destructive influences.

Rabbi Brafman, menahel of Yeshiva Derech Ayson of Far Rockaway, NY, is a contributing editor to The Jewish Observer. His most recent essay in JO was his review article on Of Parents and Penguins (Sept. '99).

Copyright Jewish Observer 2000

Copyright © 1997-2008 by Ira Kasdan. All rights reserved.
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